A song that just sums up how I've felt since Me and my sons mom separated. A run down of my mental state so to say. This is the only song that doesn't have a girls name associated with it, as It's just about me.
lyrics
another work week/ just seem to fly by/
my money all gone, so i can try to get right/
the state trying to take/ almost half of what i make/
and the other half gone when I smoke another eighth,
but i cant stay straight/ unless im dulled by the trees/
and it something that I hate/ even though i love weed/
use it as a crutch/ til i feel out of touch,
with the feeling that got when i smoked my first dutch/
damn/
I should really focus on my plan/
study for my certs and take notes for my exam,
to can find a good job/ 9 to 5 to provide/
a future for my son/ let him cop a nice ride/
but i seem to just slack/ its always nice to kickback/
relax after work, smoke a blunt or take a quick nap/
after that/ im surfing the web/
Im so busy doing nothing like im already dead/
and with all that said/ I really got to admit/
It seems like everything i touch just turns to shit/
but im trying to change/ its the hardest part/
I gotta take the blame/ and seperate from my heart/
I can start by giving up/ on the hopes of finding true love/
Its just something i can never grasp a hold of/
when i should/ I dont return the affection/
by the time i care/ shes in the opposite direction/
think with my erection/ cause my souls worn down/
and it seems like chasing pleasure where im at for now/
three heartbreaks/ zero time to heal/
and the last one felt like it was time to kill/
myself/
i had to stop and re-assess myself/
cause depression is a bitch when theres no body else/
to talk to/
I feel like im ready to drop too/
how long is too long to be alone be fore we got to,
understand/
that our plans tend to fall apart/
even though we hope the opposite with all our hearts
like when love called me back/ and i couldnt even breathe
heard her voice on the line/ it was hard to beleive/
the whole time/ i was blind to the fact/
that she only wanted comfort/ never wanted me back
amd its shit like that/
makes me wonder where i stand/
cause i like to believe im a decent man
but if i am/
why would i be writing this?
I really dont know but my lifes a mess
and it seems sometimes like i need to just give in/
fuck it all whats the point? let the world win
before i sin/ i stop and think of my son/
how would he take it when he knows his father is done?
so i put down the gun/ and start trying to cope/
ONce again i find myself hard reliant on dope/
but in the scope of things/ i guess it always could be worse
and at least I got my son,my clone will always come first/
for what its worth, his birth was a blessing,
the stress was a lesson/
Ill always have a job to protect him/
Correct him/
get him of the slacker plan/
show him what it really means to be called a man/
and with that/ maybe i can learn some lessons/
like that trees are not made to be abused/ theyre a blessing/
and maybe all this time alone helped me think/
and maybe broken hearts are just a way to see/
that sometimes things arent meant to be/
and you gotta let go cause eventually/
your gonna lose your grip/maybe fall to death/
but i really dont know cause my life is a mess.
when the Stress piles up/man i gotta release,
spit a verse, for what its worth, I always feel the relief/
credits
from Lingering on Various Emotions,
released September 10, 2013
Written by: Eric Anthony Wilson
Produced by: Command Con-soul